This short note only, ok? OKbuddy!
Our international pood pestival in the Busan is come. Do you know the Busan? It's a Korea. City in south. Also hub of south cities in Korea and mecca of Haeundae Bitch.
We're have international food pestibal Nobember 11-13 and tell you about, here's the website. http://bife.co.kr/main/index.asp#. Please come to the our pestibal.
Maybe you notice: English button is not click for English page to international pood pestibal. But that's because our pestibal is Korea language pestibal. Maybe you heard Hallyu. Do you know the hallyu? Thanks to the Hallyu now eberybody is speak the Korea talk, so international pestibal is Korea talk only now. We're welcome Korean speaker from every country to the our pestibal. For example, Chinese Koreans, Japanese Koreans, North Korean refugees, Korean Americans (only if speak the Korea speak though), European Koreans, Korean adoptees, Half-Koreans, and especially Hines Ward.
Also, we're welcome food demonstration from international ethnic of Koreans live away from Korea, and some food demonstration from Koreans who have travel to the overseas:
for example:
China: Jajangmyeon. That's all. Other thing is too greasy. Kimchi with maggot
Egypt: Turkish kebap, pork stirfry with long grain rice
England: Hamburger, french fry, hot dog
USA: Pizza with special american topping like Yams (it's how called goguma in the America!)
Canada: Hamburger, french fry, hot dog
Japan: Donkaseu and kimbap and udon, kimuchi with bad funny not kimchi STOP STEAL OUR CULTURE flavor
Italy: spaghetti with sweet pickle and kimchi
Germany: Turkish kebap and barbeque ribs
Australia: Hamburger, french fry, hot dog
France: sweet garlic bread, microwave hot dog with dry ketchup on, cream fill bread (Paris Baguette is run the Prance table: it's real Paris eat!) and kimchi
New York: Jew food like bagle. And kimchi
Aprica: haha! Just kidding. Everybody know Aprica is hungry country and no food. But if we find brack people, we bring them to the Aprica table. Maybe give they some food.
Aprica: Hamburger, french fry, hot dog.
North Korea: UN Food Aid Rations. Kimchi.
Korea speaker from every country can enjoy globalized hub of world mecca food in the Busan.
See you there! (If you are can read the map for find it. That's Korean too)
Thursday, 28 October 2010
Wednesday, 27 October 2010
I am Want Explain the Visa is Prostitute but English teacher HIV still.
Hellow.
It is a time explain some thing that foreigner misunderstanding about the Korea.
You see, these day, E2 visa teacher is HIV test now, but E6 and E9 migrant worker visa is not.
But after I'm logic, you understand my reason, and you will agree the HIV test.
For example. But before see my reason, I'm give you example the beautiful Han virtuous culture we are try protect, so that you're see why so important for make these rule.
OK.
Now to begin, every mother know that foreigner English teacher training include the blood throw lesson.
What is the blood throw lesson? Of course you know it's well known with Korean mother that every foreign English teacher have secret "Blood day" when they are take their blood - some clean and some dirty blood - and as joke they are throw it onto student!
Don't pretend you arent' knew that. It's a true! It happen in my sister's neighbor school three times because they aren't deport the bad teachers fastly enough.
Second reason: is
E6 enterntainer is many south asian and russian people visa. But my explain is this: you know russian people is dirty country and so forth. Also south asia or aprica people is darker the skin.
Because darker the skin and russian face, good, pure Korea people virtuous woman is never sex to them: they are know it's bad, because teach ethics in Korean school, with special unit about the negroe and south-asia pykmy. Maybe dirty girl is sex to them, but not virtuous han girl with scary aprica or smelly india or noisy china people! Therefore, we aren't care to HIV into dirty girls. And if HIV is dirty men who are have prostitute, they can die and Korea is cleaner, mans who cheat the wife will die and woman is free the asshole, so want also.
But blue eye voodoo is English teacher foreigners English spell. Even a virtuous han girl in good family is sometimes seduce! It's the UNACCEPTABLE!
Therefore English teacher is still HIV in visa. That way, you can sex the virtuous han good family but not caught by give AIDS, so she pretend still virgin.
She happy. You happy. She parents happy. (Just don't try marry the her) EVERYBODY happy.
Please understand our situation.
Thank you for my chance explain a logically to you. Now I'm sure understand!
Have a nice day.
It is a time explain some thing that foreigner misunderstanding about the Korea.
You see, these day, E2 visa teacher is HIV test now, but E6 and E9 migrant worker visa is not.
But after I'm logic, you understand my reason, and you will agree the HIV test.
For example. But before see my reason, I'm give you example the beautiful Han virtuous culture we are try protect, so that you're see why so important for make these rule.
OK.
Now to begin, every mother know that foreigner English teacher training include the blood throw lesson.
What is the blood throw lesson? Of course you know it's well known with Korean mother that every foreign English teacher have secret "Blood day" when they are take their blood - some clean and some dirty blood - and as joke they are throw it onto student!
Don't pretend you arent' knew that. It's a true! It happen in my sister's neighbor school three times because they aren't deport the bad teachers fastly enough.
Second reason: is
E6 enterntainer is many south asian and russian people visa. But my explain is this: you know russian people is dirty country and so forth. Also south asia or aprica people is darker the skin.
Because darker the skin and russian face, good, pure Korea people virtuous woman is never sex to them: they are know it's bad, because teach ethics in Korean school, with special unit about the negroe and south-asia pykmy. Maybe dirty girl is sex to them, but not virtuous han girl with scary aprica or smelly india or noisy china people! Therefore, we aren't care to HIV into dirty girls. And if HIV is dirty men who are have prostitute, they can die and Korea is cleaner, mans who cheat the wife will die and woman is free the asshole, so want also.
But blue eye voodoo is English teacher foreigners English spell. Even a virtuous han girl in good family is sometimes seduce! It's the UNACCEPTABLE!
Therefore English teacher is still HIV in visa. That way, you can sex the virtuous han good family but not caught by give AIDS, so she pretend still virgin.
She happy. You happy. She parents happy. (Just don't try marry the her) EVERYBODY happy.
Please understand our situation.
Thank you for my chance explain a logically to you. Now I'm sure understand!
Have a nice day.
Wednesday, 20 October 2010
Announcement: Korea To Avoid Responsibility for Korea/South Asian Mix Children until One Wins Superbowl
http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/nation/2010/10/117_74914.html
As the number of half-Korean children, born to Korean and South-Asian parents, increases, a recent report shows that many do not receive adequate care when their mothers return to south-asia after divorces with their Korean fathers.
However, both as a nation, and individually, Korea, and Korean fathers, have declared they will shirk responsibility for these children as much as possible, until one of them wins a superbowl, and brings glory to Korea.
"We saw how the Hines Ward story was so heartwarming: the reconciliation theme as the Superbowl MVP's home country finally opened its arms to welcome him home. Really, we're hoping for something similar to happen in South Asia."
After being born in Korea, Hines Ward, the son of a Korean mother and an African-American soldier, was taken to America by his mother, in hopes of a better life. The stigma against mixed babies, and particularly against mixed babies that were half Korean and half...the darker races, proved too much for Ward's mother to raise him in Korea. Ultimately, Hines Ward became an NFL Football player, and won the Superbowl MVP with the Pittsburgh Steelers.
The Korean minister of Culture, Sports, Tourism and Funny Hats, Jung Han-won, explained the situation. "You know, if we start trying to find ways to provide for all those babies, or hold Korean fathers legally responsible for their mixed kids, they will be hobbled financially, and unable to produce and raise real Korean babies. That would just be a shame. Unacceptable, really. So Korea will try to avoid taking any responsibility for these babies, for the sake of the birthrate."
Asked how failing to support mothers of Korean children would help make women feel empowered to have more babies, Min. Jung suddenly remembered another appointment, and excused himself from the interview.
A travel agent specializing in trips to the Philippines, Kim Hye-soon, dislikes this decision, and wishes that Korean support for the mothers of half-Korean babies extended not just to the divorced mothers returning to South-Asia, but also to the mothers of illegitimate half-Korean "Kofino" babies fathered by Korean men on sex vacations to the Philippines. "It's getting harder to find brothels, hostels, and human traffickers who will work with me, when they know Korean men refuse to use condoms on their sex vacations, and once impregnating a woman, run back to Korea, where there is no legal recourse to extract child support payments for their children," she explains. "Often it's because they're married, but if they're married, isn't that all the more reason to use a goddamn condom, and not bring home a nasty surprise for the wife?"
Kwak Seon-yu, the male tour guide who led many of these Philippine expeditions, disagrees. "These men are full of confucian virtue: it is the height of discretion to leave the country completely if one wants to cheat on one's wife, and an admirable sign of confucian modesty and restraint that he does not want to boast of his virility, by taking responsibility for the babies he has fathered. These are true sons of Tangun!"
Gia Agbayani, mother of a healthy Kofino boy, has taken her destiny into her own hands. "After reading the Hines Ward story, I've gathered a soccer team's worth of these half-Korean boys, and I'm training them to play," she explains. "If they can start winning when they get older, and especially if they can perform in the World Cup, or get contracts in the EPL or another top European league, maybe we can see a heart-warming story like Hines Ward's here in the Philippines, and those Korean baby-daddys will finally be unable to hide their dalliances."
Dokdo Is Ours, reporting.
As the number of half-Korean children, born to Korean and South-Asian parents, increases, a recent report shows that many do not receive adequate care when their mothers return to south-asia after divorces with their Korean fathers.
However, both as a nation, and individually, Korea, and Korean fathers, have declared they will shirk responsibility for these children as much as possible, until one of them wins a superbowl, and brings glory to Korea.
"We saw how the Hines Ward story was so heartwarming: the reconciliation theme as the Superbowl MVP's home country finally opened its arms to welcome him home. Really, we're hoping for something similar to happen in South Asia."
After being born in Korea, Hines Ward, the son of a Korean mother and an African-American soldier, was taken to America by his mother, in hopes of a better life. The stigma against mixed babies, and particularly against mixed babies that were half Korean and half...the darker races, proved too much for Ward's mother to raise him in Korea. Ultimately, Hines Ward became an NFL Football player, and won the Superbowl MVP with the Pittsburgh Steelers.
The Korean minister of Culture, Sports, Tourism and Funny Hats, Jung Han-won, explained the situation. "You know, if we start trying to find ways to provide for all those babies, or hold Korean fathers legally responsible for their mixed kids, they will be hobbled financially, and unable to produce and raise real Korean babies. That would just be a shame. Unacceptable, really. So Korea will try to avoid taking any responsibility for these babies, for the sake of the birthrate."
Asked how failing to support mothers of Korean children would help make women feel empowered to have more babies, Min. Jung suddenly remembered another appointment, and excused himself from the interview.
A travel agent specializing in trips to the Philippines, Kim Hye-soon, dislikes this decision, and wishes that Korean support for the mothers of half-Korean babies extended not just to the divorced mothers returning to South-Asia, but also to the mothers of illegitimate half-Korean "Kofino" babies fathered by Korean men on sex vacations to the Philippines. "It's getting harder to find brothels, hostels, and human traffickers who will work with me, when they know Korean men refuse to use condoms on their sex vacations, and once impregnating a woman, run back to Korea, where there is no legal recourse to extract child support payments for their children," she explains. "Often it's because they're married, but if they're married, isn't that all the more reason to use a goddamn condom, and not bring home a nasty surprise for the wife?"
Kwak Seon-yu, the male tour guide who led many of these Philippine expeditions, disagrees. "These men are full of confucian virtue: it is the height of discretion to leave the country completely if one wants to cheat on one's wife, and an admirable sign of confucian modesty and restraint that he does not want to boast of his virility, by taking responsibility for the babies he has fathered. These are true sons of Tangun!"
Gia Agbayani, mother of a healthy Kofino boy, has taken her destiny into her own hands. "After reading the Hines Ward story, I've gathered a soccer team's worth of these half-Korean boys, and I'm training them to play," she explains. "If they can start winning when they get older, and especially if they can perform in the World Cup, or get contracts in the EPL or another top European league, maybe we can see a heart-warming story like Hines Ward's here in the Philippines, and those Korean baby-daddys will finally be unable to hide their dalliances."
Dokdo Is Ours, reporting.
Thursday, 7 October 2010
Korea Under 17 Soccer to Start K-Pop Band
After winning the Women's Under-17 World Cup of Soccer last month, Korea's Under-17 Women's Soccer Team has revealed larger ambitions.
"Well," explains team star Yeo Min-ji, the tournament's leading scorer, "Coming from a country where women are often considered second-class citizens, it always burned us the way Korean Men's soccer got all the attention during the world cup, but not a single member of the women's team got a cosmetics endorsement, or even an awkward beer commercial."
"So we've decided to do what all Korean teenage girls want to do, if they want to become more famous: we're going to become pop stars."
SM Entertainment confirmed the report, saying that the entire twenty-three woman roster had signed identical twelve-year slave contracts, and that training in dance moves and sexy contortions would begin in November.
"Usually we have to train those lazy girls, whose only self-discipline comes from dancing into their webcams," explained Jung, SM Entertainment's main talent scout. "These girls come to us already in the peak of physical condition, which gives us high hopes, as long as we can get them to move in unison."
Stylist Kang Young-ju, SM Entertainment's fashion consultant, has done initial beauty consultations with each of the girls, "They came in pretty confident, having just won the under-seventeen world cup; I had to spend a lot of time shaming them for their big faces, lacks of v-lines and s-lines and x-lines, for their over-muscular legs and energetic demeanors, before they really realized how far they had to come before they could accomplish anything in the world: what man would find a vivacious, strong and fit woman attractive? But don't worry. By the time I'm done, they'll know how to demur, lower their eyes, play aegyo, and act like passive kittens."
PR Coach Han Sohn-gyu also encouraged the victorious players to be more careful about how they spoke to the press.
"Stop talking about all this soccer stuff: the last thing a man wants to hear about is a woman telling him she's really good at kicking balls," he explained, shuddering, "from now on, I want them to use adjectives like 'silly' and 'dumb old me' to talk about themselves, not 'ass-kicking,' 'conquering,' or 'world-class'."
Everyone at SM entertainment is excited about the prospect of a 23-member K-pop band. "There's just so, so, so many! If one of them isn't a good dancer, we can just put her in the back row, but 23 young girls doing dance moves in skirts: we'll have our audiences hypnotized, even if they don't have any talent! And from what I've seen in their first dance trials, they might not."
"We'll have them ready to be pop-stars in no time. Then, their mothers will truly be proud."
And if they fail at K-pop stardom?
"Well, there are always two other ways to success in Korea: passing the bar exam, or marrying a doctor," explained Yeo Min-Ji's mother, who refused to comment on her daughter's habit of playing sports.
"Well," explains team star Yeo Min-ji, the tournament's leading scorer, "Coming from a country where women are often considered second-class citizens, it always burned us the way Korean Men's soccer got all the attention during the world cup, but not a single member of the women's team got a cosmetics endorsement, or even an awkward beer commercial."
"So we've decided to do what all Korean teenage girls want to do, if they want to become more famous: we're going to become pop stars."
SM Entertainment confirmed the report, saying that the entire twenty-three woman roster had signed identical twelve-year slave contracts, and that training in dance moves and sexy contortions would begin in November.
"Usually we have to train those lazy girls, whose only self-discipline comes from dancing into their webcams," explained Jung, SM Entertainment's main talent scout. "These girls come to us already in the peak of physical condition, which gives us high hopes, as long as we can get them to move in unison."
Stylist Kang Young-ju, SM Entertainment's fashion consultant, has done initial beauty consultations with each of the girls, "They came in pretty confident, having just won the under-seventeen world cup; I had to spend a lot of time shaming them for their big faces, lacks of v-lines and s-lines and x-lines, for their over-muscular legs and energetic demeanors, before they really realized how far they had to come before they could accomplish anything in the world: what man would find a vivacious, strong and fit woman attractive? But don't worry. By the time I'm done, they'll know how to demur, lower their eyes, play aegyo, and act like passive kittens."
PR Coach Han Sohn-gyu also encouraged the victorious players to be more careful about how they spoke to the press.
"Stop talking about all this soccer stuff: the last thing a man wants to hear about is a woman telling him she's really good at kicking balls," he explained, shuddering, "from now on, I want them to use adjectives like 'silly' and 'dumb old me' to talk about themselves, not 'ass-kicking,' 'conquering,' or 'world-class'."
Everyone at SM entertainment is excited about the prospect of a 23-member K-pop band. "There's just so, so, so many! If one of them isn't a good dancer, we can just put her in the back row, but 23 young girls doing dance moves in skirts: we'll have our audiences hypnotized, even if they don't have any talent! And from what I've seen in their first dance trials, they might not."
"We'll have them ready to be pop-stars in no time. Then, their mothers will truly be proud."
And if they fail at K-pop stardom?
"Well, there are always two other ways to success in Korea: passing the bar exam, or marrying a doctor," explained Yeo Min-Ji's mother, who refused to comment on her daughter's habit of playing
Monday, 20 September 2010
Korean Macarena the 꼭지점 Gok-Ji-Jeom Danseu is World Virus Video! Hallyu! Korea Korea Korea!
Hello! You think I'm forget to you, don't it, reader? But I'm can't forget! It's too much my love Korea, and want your love also. So today. Oh! So proud!
Let me explain. Do you know Gok-Ji-Jeom Danseu? I tell you. It's a Korea dance crazy for example like tell me dance! In fact, it's Korean Macarena! Except nobody heard about. Except Korea people world cup danseu people is know. And we make the dance for promote Korea culture the world by create world craze through South Aprica World Cup so everybody know Korea.
Also Kroea invent Vuvuzela.
Here is Gok-Ji-Jeom Danseu. (from source is here)
I'm want your watchi very carepully. Famous 2006 World Cup Dance! World Craze!
Because now it's little girl: she is love Korea piety. Her have watchi Gok-Ji-Jeom Danseu many time, and then make her dance virus!If look the video, you can see two thing: One: the girl dance like virus am spread, just as Korea wave spread and everybody can't resist love the Korea culture like Gok-Ji-Jeom when they are see.
Two: The girl love for the Korea one blood people is purely like her purely smile and touching: certainly she am good daughter and filial duty also patriotic piously to Korea! Her big smile show: I'm think she have kimchi in her teeth too.
Now watch it's danseu exact same the Gok-Ji-Jeom. EXACT! It have arm and leg move, like Gok-Ji-Jeom. It have people move same time like Gok-Ji-Jeom. It have big corporate sponsor (it's a world brand Samsung!11!!) like Gok-Ji-Jeom! Watch her pure love to the Korea spread like virus to every town people!
Maybe you say "This dance are totally different." or maybe you say "Only it's Korea media call Gok-Ji-Jeom" or maybe you say "Other country people don't know Gok-Ji-Jeom and don't know it's Korea Dance and don't care if Korea dance or just little girl cute dance." or maybe you say "Jesus Christ, Korea, just fucking get over yourselves already" and maybe you am have point... but here my answer, completely disprove your question:
Why are you hate the korea? You go home monkey white hater people! I'm hate your criticize! So hate! Your foreigner stay away Korea people korea lady no touchi you stupid big nose exploitation to the Korea culture! I'm insult you on the bus if I'm see! I'm hate hollywood! I'm hate Marilyn Monroe and her beautiful round breasts and hate your go home leave us alone! and die yankee scum fuckbag! but please spending tourism money and tell friend "Hey! Come to Korea! It's great!" first before eat shit and die.
Here am another Gok-Ji-Jeom Danseu for compare: its' exact! Like Dokdo Map accurate and glory to Korea!
SEE? Exactly the same as little girl who love the Korea. If you're disagree my friends crash to your server, put your personal informations on Naver so everybody see and join hate you like Jim Hewish.
(source: Herald. Sometimes you get it, too.)
More Gok-Ji-Jeom: so great! (see the more: all exactly same like dance virus and same as little girl dance! Really!)
Friday, 17 September 2010
Thursday, 16 September 2010
Seoul's 2022 World Cup Bid Includes Conquest Plans for North Korea
After reading the article, "Korea to Share Games with North if Chosen to Host 2022 World Cup," Dokdo Is Ours tracked down Park Yu-tu, to discover further details about such a boggling proposition. Here is the interview as it transpired.
DIO: So, Mr. Park, you're in charge of South Korea's World Cup 2022 bid?
Park: That's correct. I mange the slush funds, the callgirls, the promotional materials, and I lead the 'outlandish promises' team.
DIO: And how many people are on the outlandish promises team?
Park: About forty-million. Some of them are working on finding ways to control Korea's soccer players by remote access, through computer chips in their heads, so that our Starcraft champions can control our players the way they control their armies in Starcraft. We'd be invincible!
DIO: So, tell me more about this plan to include games in North Korean sites in the 2022 World Cup.
Park: Well, because we're not totally sure about North Korea's leadership over the next decade, we of course have several contingencies, all of which were presented to the FIFA inspectors during our pitch last week.
DIO: And what are some of those contingencies?
Park: After talking with North Korea, they're happy to participate in the World Cup if it means more famous people will be photographed visiting North Korea, in order for their journalists to make up regime-friendly quotes for them. Also, because the host team automatically qualifies for the World Cup, the North is very interested in providing housing and food for the opposing teams, and they seemed particularly excited about providing breakfast for opposing team players on game days. I can't imagine why. They say they are designing special hotel suites for players from other countries, so they'll be especially prepared to play the home team.
DIO: Were there any qualifiers attached to this cooperation?
Park: Well, if FIFA insists on inspecting these hotel rooms before the game days, the North will withdraw its cooperation. Unless the FIFA inspectors are the same people as the nuclear inspection team that investigated North Korea's WMD development programs from 1999-2004.
DIO: And what if North Korea DOES fail to cooperate?
Park: That's contingency number one, of course. As you can see on these diagrams, extensive plans for the conquest of North Korea were also presented to the FIFA team: we're confident that if we attack in 2018, we can defeat North Korea and have soccer stadiums finished by 2021 - well ahead of time. The unification of the Korean peninsula would be a great backstory to the games, too: "World Cup of Unification!" So heartwarming! Imagine! Hey! Maybe that could be the theme song! John Lennon's 'Imagine.' A defeated North Korea would make an ideal host, really: the broken will of the people will make the people very pliant service-workers in the hotels and restaurants. Plus, we'll be making them work for no pay - victor's rights and all - so the World Cup will be guaranteed to come in under budget.
DIO: Very interesting. So what other outlandish promises were made during the bid?
Park: Oh, the usual: legions of creamy-thighed virgins, economic prosperity, safe return of their missing sons, a special off-center balanced ball that will lead to scads of goals, and of course, free Samsung phones for everyone!
DIO: So you're saying that South Korea will go to war to host the World Cup again?
Park: You say that as if there's something wrong with that. I haven't mentioned contingency two yet, have I?
DIO: And that would be?
Park: The conquest of whichever country IS awarded the 2022 World Cup - that contingency was presented to the FIFA Inspectors as well, and they are well aware that we have all their home addresses.
DIO: Don't you think the threat of violence is a bit extreme?
Park: Hey man! Why are you hate the Korea? You should learn more the Korea, or Yankee Go Home! I'm think you don't anything the Korea. Just chase Korean girl, disrespect Korea culture! Why you hate the Korea so much? Oh MY GAT! I so ANGRY!!
Unfortunately, the interview was ended at that point, when Park Yu-tu attempted to have Dokdo Is Ours stand on a trap door and drop him into a shark tank.
DIO: So, Mr. Park, you're in charge of South Korea's World Cup 2022 bid?
Park: That's correct. I mange the slush funds, the callgirls, the promotional materials, and I lead the 'outlandish promises' team.
DIO: And how many people are on the outlandish promises team?
Park: About forty-million. Some of them are working on finding ways to control Korea's soccer players by remote access, through computer chips in their heads, so that our Starcraft champions can control our players the way they control their armies in Starcraft. We'd be invincible!
DIO: So, tell me more about this plan to include games in North Korean sites in the 2022 World Cup.
Park: Well, because we're not totally sure about North Korea's leadership over the next decade, we of course have several contingencies, all of which were presented to the FIFA inspectors during our pitch last week.
DIO: And what are some of those contingencies?
Park: After talking with North Korea, they're happy to participate in the World Cup if it means more famous people will be photographed visiting North Korea, in order for their journalists to make up regime-friendly quotes for them. Also, because the host team automatically qualifies for the World Cup, the North is very interested in providing housing and food for the opposing teams, and they seemed particularly excited about providing breakfast for opposing team players on game days. I can't imagine why. They say they are designing special hotel suites for players from other countries, so they'll be especially prepared to play the home team.
DIO: Were there any qualifiers attached to this cooperation?
Park: Well, if FIFA insists on inspecting these hotel rooms before the game days, the North will withdraw its cooperation. Unless the FIFA inspectors are the same people as the nuclear inspection team that investigated North Korea's WMD development programs from 1999-2004.
DIO: And what if North Korea DOES fail to cooperate?
Park: That's contingency number one, of course. As you can see on these diagrams, extensive plans for the conquest of North Korea were also presented to the FIFA team: we're confident that if we attack in 2018, we can defeat North Korea and have soccer stadiums finished by 2021 - well ahead of time. The unification of the Korean peninsula would be a great backstory to the games, too: "World Cup of Unification!" So heartwarming! Imagine! Hey! Maybe that could be the theme song! John Lennon's 'Imagine.' A defeated North Korea would make an ideal host, really: the broken will of the people will make the people very pliant service-workers in the hotels and restaurants. Plus, we'll be making them work for no pay - victor's rights and all - so the World Cup will be guaranteed to come in under budget.
DIO: Very interesting. So what other outlandish promises were made during the bid?
Park: Oh, the usual: legions of creamy-thighed virgins, economic prosperity, safe return of their missing sons, a special off-center balanced ball that will lead to scads of goals, and of course, free Samsung phones for everyone!
DIO: So you're saying that South Korea will go to war to host the World Cup again?
Park: You say that as if there's something wrong with that. I haven't mentioned contingency two yet, have I?
DIO: And that would be?
Park: The conquest of whichever country IS awarded the 2022 World Cup - that contingency was presented to the FIFA Inspectors as well, and they are well aware that we have all their home addresses.
DIO: Don't you think the threat of violence is a bit extreme?
Park: Hey man! Why are you hate the Korea? You should learn more the Korea, or Yankee Go Home! I'm think you don't anything the Korea. Just chase Korean girl, disrespect Korea culture! Why you hate the Korea so much? Oh MY GAT! I so ANGRY!!
Unfortunately, the interview was ended at that point, when Park Yu-tu attempted to have Dokdo Is Ours stand on a trap door and drop him into a shark tank.
Saturday, 11 September 2010
Civil Service Exam to be Scrapped for Sake of Restoring Proper Gender Proportions
original article
For literally centuries, Korea's best and brightest young men gathered in the capital for the civil service exam: one of the hardest, and most prestigious exams in the country. According to education scholars, those who succeeded were awarded with high positions of government service, leading to intense competition to be among those brilliant young men who entered the King's courts on scholarly talent alone.
Yet recently, the austere position of government service has been sullied, more and more so in recent years, and many top policy makers are upset. "It used to be that passing this exam meant something," complains Ryu Gwang-jo, "I remember being alerted that I'd passed back in 1972, and looking forward to working with Korea's most capable male minds over a long career of soju rounds, hands on my male colleagues' thighs in jimjilbangs, and ass-gropings of waitresses at the hoeshik. No prospect could have made me more excited!"
Unfortunately for Ryu and others like him, in recent years, female applicants have been equaling, and even surpassing men's performance on the civil service exam. "It seems like every entry level worker in our office these days is a female -- I don't even know what to do with them! I can only drink so much coffee in a day, and eat so many sammiches - after I'm full, I don't know how to give all these females orders." Ryu holds up his left hand. It shakes noticeably. "That's from all the caffeine!"
Ryu was not the only official to notice the disturbing trend: the board responsible for civil service human resources sought a way to restore the proper gender ratio for a prestigious job like civil service. "We've decided to move to a system of open recruiting - interviews and applications and the like - similar to the way chaebols like Samsung and LG keep their workforces overwhelmingly male" recruiting has an added bonus. "By hiring pretty but untalented women, and finding excuses to pass over talented, bright, or highly educated and ambitious women like the ones who have been entering the civil service, we will more easily justify the fact none of the females in our system are being promoted above middle-management. I'm looking forward to my own pretty, leggy, but useless secretary. At least she won't know where to make a formal complaint if I proposition her, like my last secretary."
Others point out other benefits of the new hiring policy: "We'll be able to hire more male law graduates, and all those talented females wasting years studying for the civil service exam will now be encouraged to get secretarial work, wait tables, scoop ice cream, or make babies. I anticipate a future where many more males will feel proud of their contributions to society," explains Park Jo-moon, one of the architects of the new hiring policy.
Mr. Park sits back, pleased with himself. "This also comes in good time, because if any more women passed the exam, we'd have to redesign our government office buildings, which only have men's bathrooms on most floors."
And what will the smart, well-educated, ambitious women who have been preparing for the exam do? "Let them take the bar exam," suggests Park, "while it lasts." Sang Gyeong-mo, president of the Korean Bar Association, is already planning for such an event. "We're already looking at adding new requirements to the Bar, in order to be sure Korean lawyers' ranks remain overwhelmingly male. You may know that females are gaining fast on men in passing the bar as well: whether passing an interview or a law school course will be prerequisite to taking the bar exam - which would put the requirement of filtering out uppity females on universities' law school admissions officers - or whether the final portion of the bar exam will be writing a word with urine in the snow, believe me, we'll find a way."
No women were interviewed for their opinions on this new change. Why would they be? Dokdo Is Ours doesn't want to waste his time listening to a bunch of talk about pink things and babies.
For literally centuries, Korea's best and brightest young men gathered in the capital for the civil service exam: one of the hardest, and most prestigious exams in the country. According to education scholars, those who succeeded were awarded with high positions of government service, leading to intense competition to be among those brilliant young men who entered the King's courts on scholarly talent alone.
Yet recently, the austere position of government service has been sullied, more and more so in recent years, and many top policy makers are upset. "It used to be that passing this exam meant something," complains Ryu Gwang-jo, "I remember being alerted that I'd passed back in 1972, and looking forward to working with Korea's most capable male minds over a long career of soju rounds, hands on my male colleagues' thighs in jimjilbangs, and ass-gropings of waitresses at the hoeshik. No prospect could have made me more excited!"
Unfortunately for Ryu and others like him, in recent years, female applicants have been equaling, and even surpassing men's performance on the civil service exam. "It seems like every entry level worker in our office these days is a female -- I don't even know what to do with them! I can only drink so much coffee in a day, and eat so many sammiches - after I'm full, I don't know how to give all these females orders." Ryu holds up his left hand. It shakes noticeably. "That's from all the caffeine!"
Ryu was not the only official to notice the disturbing trend: the board responsible for civil service human resources sought a way to restore the proper gender ratio for a prestigious job like civil service. "We've decided to move to a system of open recruiting - interviews and applications and the like - similar to the way chaebols like Samsung and LG keep their workforces overwhelmingly male" recruiting has an added bonus. "By hiring pretty but untalented women, and finding excuses to pass over talented, bright, or highly educated and ambitious women like the ones who have been entering the civil service, we will more easily justify the fact none of the females in our system are being promoted above middle-management. I'm looking forward to my own pretty, leggy, but useless secretary. At least she won't know where to make a formal complaint if I proposition her, like my last secretary."
Others point out other benefits of the new hiring policy: "We'll be able to hire more male law graduates, and all those talented females wasting years studying for the civil service exam will now be encouraged to get secretarial work, wait tables, scoop ice cream, or make babies. I anticipate a future where many more males will feel proud of their contributions to society," explains Park Jo-moon, one of the architects of the new hiring policy.
Mr. Park sits back, pleased with himself. "This also comes in good time, because if any more women passed the exam, we'd have to redesign our government office buildings, which only have men's bathrooms on most floors."
And what will the smart, well-educated, ambitious women who have been preparing for the exam do? "Let them take the bar exam," suggests Park, "while it lasts." Sang Gyeong-mo, president of the Korean Bar Association, is already planning for such an event. "We're already looking at adding new requirements to the Bar, in order to be sure Korean lawyers' ranks remain overwhelmingly male. You may know that females are gaining fast on men in passing the bar as well: whether passing an interview or a law school course will be prerequisite to taking the bar exam - which would put the requirement of filtering out uppity females on universities' law school admissions officers - or whether the final portion of the bar exam will be writing a word with urine in the snow, believe me, we'll find a way."
No women were interviewed for their opinions on this new change. Why would they be? Dokdo Is Ours doesn't want to waste his time listening to a bunch of talk about pink things and babies.
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