Monday, 2 March 2009

Memory Loss is the First Symptom of Mad Cow Disease in Korean Mothers

Fallout from last year's beef protests continue to surprise even experts. Despite four months of intense, baby-wheeling protest, American beef recently appeared on Korea's supermarket shelves.Though hundreds of thousands of concerned Koreans clotted downtown thoroughfares every weekend for months, burning candles and chanting slogans,

...since reaching the market, and despite the warnings, American beef sales have been brisk.

Though most research shows that mad cow disease may take more than a decade to show symptoms, it seems that here in Korea, thanks to Korea's special DNA, signs are appearing amazingly quickly in Korea, in the form of startling bouts of memory loss and loss of hearing.

Dokdo Is Ours investigates.

Ms. Jang, a housemother with two children in middle school, exhibited both symptoms during an interview.

Here is the disturbing conversation.

"So, Mrs. Jang, how many children do you have?"
"I have two children."
"And how old are they?"
"Fourteen and sixteen."
"So, you must feel terribly burdened to keep a good household for them."
"Sometimes I can barely fit all my work in between episodes of Boys Before Flowers! It's hard to budget a household these days, in the hard economic times."
"I see. So what are some things you do?"
"Well, I have to find the best bargains, save money so I can put my two kids in the right hogwans."
"Where can you save money when you shop?"
"Well, these days there is some new beef at the supermarket: it's much cheaper than the other stuff! I've been pinching pennies by snapping it up like mad!"
Now, preserved in this transcript, you can see the evidence of Mad Cow Disease showing itself.
"Wasn't that American beef? The same beef you protested last summer?"
--silence--
"Mrs. Jang?"
--Mrs. Jang stares at her shoes--
"Didn't you protest American beef imports last summer?"
"I don't remember much about last summer," Mrs. Jang said. "I'm always so busy trying to raise my children."
"So did you go to the beef protests?"
--No answer--
"Mrs. Jang?"
--No answer--
"Can you hear me?"
"I have to pick up my kids from school."
"Do you remember anything you did last spring? Say, on June tenth?"
"I have to go."

As any reader can see, the onset of Mad Cow Disease has already exhibited itself in hearing and memory loss for Mrs. Jang.

So far, no other news sources have reported on this disturbing mass memory loss occurring all around Seoul and the rest of South Korea; hopefully, the science world will take this epidemic more seriously, before things get out of hand.

Cha Yoon-min, 14, commented on his mother's cooking "I am full of American beef," he said. "I study hard in school. I want to get a good job and then I could eat beef and just ...Who are you, Mr? Why are you pointing a microphone at me?"

Some pictures from here.

4 comments:

Brian said...

Very good work.

Jim said...

I think this is the best research that has been done in Korea for Mad Cow.

I hope your techniques spread to such research as feeding kimchi to birds to stop the spread of avian flu and methods to prevent fan death.

3alleypub said...

I saw a note in a menu the other day, about how the owners wanted to use US beef, but the supply was limited....too many housewives snapping it up?

Dokdo Is Ours said...

Very nice. I've always liked my burgers served with a side of irony.