In this tough Economy, Joongang Inc. Is Dedicated to Not Cutting Funding to our Naked White People Department

Joongang Daily staff photographer Han Je-hoon

While it is shameful to me, working on the naked white people photography department of the Joongang news corporation, given its second class rating, behind the auspicious Chosun Ilbo and Digital Chosun, which are known worldwide as the Korea's Harvard University of Photographing White Half-or-Mostly Naked People, it is reassuring news I have for you.

Despite being miles behind the field leader, the Joongang Daily is dedicated to continuing to bring you photos of naked white people, like this one, from a vineyard in France. It is an integral part of our duty to allow our strength in this field to combine with that of the Great Pervy Chosun (our little industry nickname) and bring Korea to world leadership in the rankings of "Creepy Photographing of Mostly Nude White People" -- while we have a lot of catching up to do before passing the German and Russian porn industry, Korea already ranks ahead of the French art film industry in photographing white naked people, and with more diligence and better patrolling of Haeundae Beach, we intend to climb to fifth in the world by 2017.

It is my recommendation that, in order to bolster our standing in this area, the censorship board remove the laws requiring us to blur out certain erogenous zones in our photos, which lead many Korean internet porn watchers to believe that women actually DO have pixelated vaginas, and that their own weiners are abominable variations from the world norm of having pixelated penises... showing "the full monty" will also increase interest in our dirty pictures, as compared to those produced by other countries. Also, I call on the Korean Government to sponsor longer telephoto lenses and more powerful sensors for the cameras of those photographers who have dedicated their lives to raising Korea's profile in the realm of photographing nude white people. It is only through the support of Korea's great people, AND the government, that we will finally see Korea join the ranks of the greatest nations at creepily photographing nude white people.