"My press agent told me that any news is good news, and really, it's thrilling to see Korea making headlines around the world."After a several month dry spell with Korean news nowhere on the international radar, including Bo-A's failure to surpass Beyonce on US pop charts, President Lee had begun to worry that people had forgotten about Korea.
Fortunately, Kim Jong-il's bomb test is not only just the thing to get people talking about Korea: "It's a buzz-word again!" but this bomb's output was much, much higher than North Korea's previous nuclear test.
"Really, with such a big blast, we're predicting a new kind of 'North Korean Wave' where fear and anxiety over North Korea's next move will raise Korea's profile even further. With such brand exposure, it's a simple matter of managing the image a little to attract tourists and Foreign Direct Investment."
Asked whether he could provide more details, whether such an event fit into a strategy, President Lee deferred to his new minister of Tourism, Branding, and Self-congratulation, Chang Tae-pyong.
"While strategies are good for some countries that do not share Korea's illustrious history, like, for example, China, given the spectacular superiority of Korea's great nation, a few buzz-words and a bitchin' slogan will be enough for Korea to rise to recognition, and indeed, true greatness. Our ally in Korea's climb to true world leadership, Kim Jong-il, sees the importance of Korean branding, and name recognition: surely, great dividends will come to both dear sister-sparkling-states."
Kim Jong-il was not available for comment.
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Presidential suicide, nuclear bombs, Swine Flu... Korea is finally centre of the universe.
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