Friday, 12 June 2009

Park Ji-Sung Greatest Soccer Player in Sport History: Online Poll

Park Jisung:
better than Pele?

In a startling upset, Korean Manchester United forward Park Ji-sung was voted the greatest soccer player in history, thanks to 48 333 001 write-in votes.

The forward, hailing from South Korea, population 48 333 000, has been playing on the English Premier League team Manchester United for several years now. He is known for running a lot.

FIFA Online, the international soccer organization's website, organized a simple online survey asking netizens who they believed was the greatest soccer player in the history of the sport: the ballot included names like Johan Cruyff, Diego Maradona, the immortal Pele, Zinedine Zidane, and defender Franz Beckenbauer, but at the bottom of the list was a box for write-in votes. An amazing deluge of write-in votes for Park Ji-sung started at 10pm last night, coinciding with a link to the survey appearing on Korean portal Naver.com's front page. Every vote for Park Ji-sung came from URLs inside the Republic of Korea except a single vote from the only active internet URL in North Korea: Kim Jong-il also likes Park Ji-sung.

When asked about outpacing legends like Pele in the survey, Park Ji-sung was taken aback, and said only, "My teammates will give me a pinkbelly if I brag about it."

However, Korean soccer fan Jang Myeongju was happy to comment.

"If it's on the internet, it must be true. Park Jisung is the greatest soccer player in history: I always knew it. Truly, Korea is climbing the rankings in world influence. First Rain was the world's most influential person, then BoA was number one on an MTV online poll, Choi Hong-man was voted the best K-1 fighter at K-1 International's homepage, and Park Chan-ho was voted the best pitcher of the modern era in Major League Baseball. Korea's the best!"

To avoid having his comment board flooded with 48 million "Go home yankee bastard f*cking USA" comments in English, Konglish, and Korean, Dokdo Is Ours can only report, 48 million netizens can't be wrong.

Hail Park Jisung, better than Pele; hail Park Chan-ho, better than Roger Clemens; hail Rain, better than Stephen Colbert.

Dahanminguk. Clapclap, clapclap, clap.

4 comments:

Shawn said...

Well, he's so-so anyway.

Ralph Crouse said...

Park Park wherever you may be
You eat dogs in your country
But it could be worse,
You could be 'Scouse,
Eating rats in your council house.

-Popular English chant

John said...

At least Park can run. And run. And run.

I think he's still running.

Trish Stratus said...

well hes a good soccer player so its not hard to give him that title.