Friday, 26 June 2009

To Gain Concessions, Kim Jong-Il Claims Responsiblity for Wondergirls English Version

Kim Jong-il has claimed responsibility for the American English version of the Wondergirls' hit song 'Nobody', announcing his intention to bring all America to its knees through hypersweet K-pop confections, in case his nuclear missiles fail.


American President Barack Obama had nothing to say about the despot's new tactic, though he was noticed to be tapping his feet while the musical sample played. "That's cute."

Hilary Clinton, meanwhile, reiterated that America would not negotiate with terrorists, be the weapon nuclear arms or toe-tapping dance crazes.

Park Jin-young, the purported producer of the Wondergirls, has denied any links to North Korea, and states that Kim Jong-il's attempt to use The Wondergirls' ultra-catchy pop sensibility for international terrorsim is reprehensible, and calls the claims categorically false.

"This American English version of 'Nobody' is meant to whet the appetites of American fans: the Wondergirls will be opening for the virginal Jonas Brothers and the Wondergirls have declared open intention to seduce them.

American fans, that is."

Park Jin-young has also announced that, now that the American English version of "Nobody" is on its way, the Wondergirls and the JYP songwriting team is working on a version of the song in British English. In the UK, the Wondergirls will be headlined as "Woundergirls"

"We realize that British and American English English are different, and can cause misunderstandings. That's why my former hagwon owner never hired Canadians or British, or black people. We're working hard to translate song lyrics into British English: for example, instead of "So Hot," we're going to name the song "So Ace" in England, and try to incorporate British phrases like "wanker" "bob's your uncle" and "keep your pecker up," which means fighting! I mean, cheer up." I found a useful website and I'm using it to totally rewrite our lyrics!

The anticipated cover of the British Wondergirls album.

1 comment:

Korean Rum Diary said...

Good for him. People don't give that short-ass, weird hair'd freak a chance. Koreans suck at British English. Whenever one of my kids says, 'Pighting!!!' I say, 'English, please! In English, we say 'keep your pecker up.'"