Friday, 3 July 2009

Lee Eun-eung to expand hate campaign to include unqualified Korean Nationals.

Lee Eun-eung, key member and mouthpiece of the Anti-English spectrum, has revealed a surprising change of tactics in his hate campaign against foreign English teachers.

"I have spent hours and weeks and years now, hating foreign English teachers. Unqualified foreign English teachers who fake degrees and do drugs and have consensual sex with Korean women who will not have sex with me. However, these days, I have realized something important, but to explain it properly, I have to give you some background.

"You see, it started last Sunday after I got together with some of my Anti-English Spectrum activists, following a white person in our neighborhood. We picked up his trail as he left church with a Korean woman, and also her Korean husband and children, and we followed him furtively to this Korean woman's apartment building, where he was obviously planning to have adulterous sex with her at knifepoint in front of her family, scarring the precious pure-blood Korean children for life. We followed him to the apartment building, and then threw rocks through the window of their apartment and shouted "Yankee Go Home!" and to prevent the degradation of that Korean woman, we shouted, "You're a whore to associate with Western men!" and other swear words we learned from watching American movies. God I love Tarantino. Don't you? Then, satisfied that we had prevented him from violating yet another pure Korean family, and degrading Korean women yet again, we decided to celebrate our bravery with a visit to the room salon."

"There, while celebrating our brave actions protecting Korea's pure han women by watching a titty show, and congratulating each other for helping Korean women to stay virtuous by buying each other lap-dances, you know, to help these pure Korean virgins pay for school, I felt an empty feeling.

"You see, after my mother disowned me and masturbating stopped being pleasurable for me years ago, once all the fetish videos I could find didn't help, I found that hating foreign English teachers was enough for me to find emotional catharsis, despite my frustration in, um, other areas of life. However, as I approach more and more Korean women who don't want to have sex with me, even after I hit them or their boyfriends to show my strength and prowess as a protector, or offer them money to demonstrate my financial stability and potential as a bread-winner, my frustration and misanthropy has grown too large to limit it to the tiny number of foreign English teachers in Korea. I realized that Korea is full of men who are unqualified to steal women to whom I have a natural birth-right, as the finest specimen the han-bloodline has to offer. It is now my intention to attempt to expel ALL men who are unqualified to steal my women, regardless of nationality, so that Korean women will be protected from any ineligible or unqualified possible mate, and the worthy will finally have their rightful choice of the virtuous Han females."

"Virtuous Han females?" Dokdo Is Ours asked.

"Yes. Who get tricked into being whores and have consensual sex with men who are not me. You see, many Korean women who will not have sex with me are instead having sex with foreign men...but many more again are having sex with KOREAN men, and so, I am being denied my rightful Han vagina."

"And you had this revelation..."

"At a titty bar. Yes. I have all my best ideas about how to respect and protect Korea's virtuous women at the titty bar."

"So," the intrepid journalist Dokdo Is Ours asked, "Who are some of the Korean citizens you would deem unworthy of Korean females?"

"Well, first of all, those presumptuous snobs who have more money than I do. Those shallow pricks have got to go. Ship'em off to America or something. Second, all the lazy slobs who have less money than me -- they have no ability to provide for Korea's virtuous women, so they have to go, too. To China, I guess. Deport them wherever. I don't care."

"Anybody else?"

"Those fancy-boys who are handsomer than I am have to stop putting on their stupid airs and leave the country. Also, all those disgusting jerks uglier than me are not worthy of staying in Korea. The pretentious phoneys who have more education than I do are disqualified from being with one of Korea's pure women, and the idiots with less education than me are also unworthy, of course."

"And don't you think Korea's women have the intelligence, and should have the freedom, to choose the partner they want?"

"What do you mean? Korea's virtuous women are hypnotized by blue eyes, good looks, intelligence, education, charm, good manners, money, class, respectful behavior, kindness, morals, or good upbringing, and like a voodoo spell, they lose the ability to choose a proper partner: ME!"

"So you've decided not to rest until every Korean man except yourself is expelled from Korea."

"That's right! So many men getting laid, and I'm not one of them! If my looks, money, education and manners, along with my expansive, open-mind and tolerant attitude are not enough to lead a woman to my protrusive embrace, then let them come to me because I'm the only man left in Korea!"

"And what do the other members of the Anti-English spectrum think about this?"

"As long as they can stay in Korea after all the other men have been expelled, they're all for it."

"How will you achieve this kind of a goal?"

"Well, we're going to start off by following around different men in our neighborhoods and discover their unsavory activities and evidence of bad character. Then we will expose them and warn them to leave Korea before we alert the authorities. We will continue doing this until every unworthy man in Korea has left the country, or until we get laid. So, we'll probably never stop. Hey. Who are you? What kind of a name is Dokdo Is Ours? Are you trying to steal one of MY women? I have a buddy who can trail you. Let me call him."

It seemed a prudent time to end the interview.

Dokdo Is Ours, Reporting.

8 comments:

Korean Rum Diary said...

He is indeed an ugly, ugly bastard.

brent said...

Well, that is the "solution" here in this country- that is do everything by attempted monopoly. Any Korean with enough English to trick parents can go and start doing tutoring. They don't license themselves either. These people are doing the Hagwons dirty work for them- or the Devil's Work. All of you involved with this stalker, do us a favor and kill yourselves. Seriously, do it.

nb said...

He got served. I'll bet his dick doesnt go past his pubic hair. I'll bet he masterbates nightly with the lonely tears of a no pussy getting hater.

nb said...

Oh yah, and if I ever caught this guy following me, I beat him and his friends up and then flee to Takeshima.

Keith said...

This can't possibly be real. This has to be a parody of some sort.

Korean Rum Diary said...

Oh no... It's very real...

And yeah, this dick should be dragged to Takeshima, kicking and screaming all the way.

The Bobster said...

A bit over-the-top, but probably spot on. I've decided I like your blog, maybe more than the Yangpa. And, yes, Keith, this guy does exist in our very unreal world ...

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Bobster!

(Dokdo Is Ours, too lazy to log on)