To Remain World Leaders in Seasons, We Must Become World Leaders against Global Warming

Image from dongchim. . . where did you go, Dongchim? The Korea Satire Blogosphere (me, and sometimes Chris from SK) misses you!
A shocking report by a national meteorology group reports that, if world climate change continues as it has been going, Korea will lose its unique, beautiful winter, and lose also its undisputed local reputation as a world leader in seasonness.

If Korea wants to remain the world leader of seasons, there are only two options. The first option was cooked up during a meeting of some high-level executives who totally aced toeic vocabulary and read marketing books once: you seen, it is time for Korea to take world leadership and become a mecca of environmental protection hub with dynamic convergence plans for infrastructure and soft growth through branding and buzzword viral diversification. And if we don't do it soon, we will slide into the ranks of those shamefaced countries that boast only two, or three seasons.

The other option is to repackage our yellow dust in the spring, which has thoughtfully been getting longer and more severe every year, as a unique season. Certainly, some photographers can take that pasty scorched-earth yellow filtered light from the dusty atmosphere, and create some interesting effects. We can have a yellow dust festival where people can draw pictures in the dust settled on cars in the festival parking lot, and invent lots of yellow-dust traditional foods, like facemask-shaped candies and special Korean toffee, yeot, which is already the color of a yellow-dust sky. Indeed, we could also take the rainy season in the summer and officially designate it as its own unique season... then we would have five, and a clear lead in world season rankings... depending on the season definition guidelines, we might even be able to tweak the lunar calendar and designate the summer weeks before rainy season as Summer 1, and the weeks after it as Summer 2, and have an astounding six seasons! Then Japan would respect us for sure!

That indeed seems to be the choice facing us: either become world leaders in green technology, invent the efficient electric car, the zero-carbon-footprint office building, and lobby and petition world governments to revamp world infrastructure and eliminate or reduce carbon consumption and carbon pollution, in order to bring human-influenced climate change under control, and return Earth to pre 1970 atmospheric carbon levels, in order to restore regional seasonal differences... or reprint some calendars and rename a few dates.

Eenie...
meenie...
miney...