After Three Months in Korea, Canadian English Teacher Ready To Run For President

(picture from here)

After three months, English teacher Brian Gleeman, from Canada, believes he has been in Korea long enough to run for president.  "Let me tell you," Brian said, "I've seen how it is, and I've got some ideas that could really turn this country around."


From his priveledged vantage point as a Hagwon after-school teacher for elementary-age students, "AND middle school!" he says, Brian Gleeman believes he knows what the country needs.  "well, people just need to relax, and accept other ways of living," Brian said.  "For example, people have to accept that some kids aren't going to a top university.  I've figured that out.  Like Tae-hee, my student in class 2B... Her parents should just sign her up for sports or something."

Brian's Korean co-teachers seem very impressed with Brian.  "He's always telling us to tell the mothers to stop focusing on tests and let kids be kids," colleague K, his main co-teacher sighed.  "He's doing this technique that he says will change the whole education atmosphere in Korea once it catches on, where he plays games with kids and doesn't give homework, so that learning is 'fun' for them.  He sure has a lot of new ideas."

The mother of a student from Brian's highest-level class, Mrs. B, has another take on things: "My Suji is happy, but her score on her last grammar test at school was her lowest ever.  I'm just not seeing the results of Brian's 'fun' philosophy."

When asked for a comment, Brian explained that he would tell Mrs. B to stop focusing on results... if he could speak Korean.  Last week, Brian submitted his candidacy for Korean president.  Though he had no political party affiliation, no Korean language ability, and doesn't meet the citizenship requirememnt, he's confident that the electoral regulators will make an exception for him, once they hear his ideas.

Among his platforms?
Regarding globalizing the economy: "Globalization is the future, you know?  If Korea doesn't get involved in globalization, they'll be left behind.  I keep telling my co-teachers this."

Regarding the suicide crisis?  "We have to show people there's hope, and they'll stop killing themselves.  That's why I'll campaign on a platform of hope.  Give people something to live for, you know?  Also, confucianism."

Regarding internet freedom and economic protectionism?  "Well, it's freedom, you know?  People should be free - like, I always see people, and they're NOT free, you know?  In the PC room, they're like slaves to society.  It makes me so sad.  But they SHOULD be.  Free, I mean."

Other platforms: "I'd just tear down all those office buildings and bring back the traditional-style Korean houses.  Those things are beautiful!  And I'd support business.  For the economy.  But shorten the work week.  And make people not be so psycho."

Despite his supposed handicaps: language, experience, and party affiliation, Grandmother Kang, who takes care of Brian's student Seon-ju while her parents work late nights, likes his chances.  "His eye-smile and small face are so handsome, and I really think his blonde hair is naturally curly!  Henseom gai!"