Saturday 16 January 2010

M-Net to Wheel Comatose Lee Hyori Onstage During Music Awards

(article and photo source)

While Lee Hyori has been getting sicker and sicker with exhaustion and malnutrition as she dieted and prepared for her solo concert, her promotion company, MNet Entertainment, has assured her loyal fans that they will indeed be seeing her during January.

"The doctors ordered ten days of complete bed-rest, but they never said we can't take the bed around and keep her usual schedule of fan appearances and performances. We've commissioned a special, 'sexy' hospital bed for her while she convalesces; it fits in the back of a tour van, and it kind of combines Segway technology with vital function monitors and a reclining "sexy" shaped mattress, with super-tight, sexy see-through blankets, so that Hyori can stay warm, while fans can still see the hot fashions she's rocking beneath her bedcovers while she recovers from pnuemonia. We've programmed her hospital bed to wheel through her dance routines, and choreographed some special hospital-themed dances so that fans will sympathize with her poor health. She's always lip-synched her songs, so she doesn't even need to wake up and sing for her performances, which we think is best for her health. Of course, we're very concerned about all the money we've invested in her. Fans will still be getting the pound of her flesh that they want. Acutally, not just a pound: she's lost seven kilograms since she got sick."

Hyori's loyal, sympathetic fans, left comments on her website.

"Hyori we love you. Please get better before Saturday's show. Do you know how much I paid for these tickets?"

"Hyori we hope your health will recover soon. We're rooting for you, so don't let your fans down, or you may as well kill yourself."

"Hyori: my fan club chapter is thrilled that you lost seven kilograms in one month: we're dying to know how WE can catch pnuemonia, too!"

"Get well soon, Lee Hyori, so you can return to your usual twenty-hour workdays of kowtowing to your fans' outrageous demands! You're the best! Just don't be sick for long: U-Ee's nipping at your heels, you know."

"It's good that you lost seven kilos. You were looking fat in your last few videos. Yeah, we noticed."

Here at Dokdo Is Ours, we also wish Hyori a quick recovery.


Flint said...

I don't know what is funnier The Jessica and LG Phone post or this. Damn good work!!!!

Anonymous said...