Friday 22 August 2008

Plagiarism! In my first month!

Special Report by Guest Reporter Hwang Woo-Suk (read my resume)

In a surprising revelation, two websites have posted remarkably similar. . . even suspiciously similar. . . but certainly NOT plagiarized or faked in any way articles, about Michael Phelps' Korean ancestry, as originally reported here on Dokdoisours.

The sites in question can be seen here and here. I, Hwang-Woo-Suk, Korea's leading geneticist, fully approve the daring originality of these two identical posts to the article that predated them, and appeared here on Dokdoisours, and am impressed by the statistical improbability that these identical articles' appearance represents. You see, for three independent bloggers to write the exact same article within a week of each other defies odds against of approximately avogadro's number to one. . . yet somehow, these three totally original, genuine, and NOT FAKE, NOR PLAGIARIZING posters have managed to do so! What an amazing day in the annals of science! The monkeys on a typewriter have finally, truly, written Hamlet, and I, Dr. Hwang Woo-Suk, will not rest until the entire world knows of this amazing, improbable event.

When asked about this incredible coincidence, the humble reporter who conducted the interview, known as Dokdoisours, failed to see the wondrous mathematical improbability of such an occurrence, and muttered, "Idea-grubbing cocksuckers." However, a scientist like myself, motivated by corporate funding, can see the true incredulousity (is that even a word? God these kinds of things get me excited!) of such a concurrence of posts.

When word gets out, the world will always remember this day, when three identical, yet obviously, certainly totally unconnected posts, all appeared, like every star in a galaxy aligning, for a dazzling eclipse of wonder and awesomeness.

(More here, here, here, and here.)


By Shim Jeong-Ah (read my resume here)

Of course, I've seen things like this before: back when I was studying for a Ph.D. in astrophysics at Harvard and journalism at Yale (I had goal deadlines to meet), while flying through the air on my magic carpet and surfing the internet by mind control through the WIFI plate installed in my skull, I spotted three articles that were exactly the same, too.

While I agree with Dr. Hwang that it was probably simply a coincidence that the three articles seemed so similar (like the sheer coincidence that a computer printout of a Yale degree fell out of my printer and into my job application, while a gust of wind blew my ACTUAL multiple-Ph.D. certificates OUT of the folder at the same time), the other two sites have responded to allegations of plagiarism, one by deleting the post in question, and the other by adding a link, so that all can wonder at the incredible coincidence of two word-for-word-identical articles appearing within a week of each other.

When asked for comment, Dokdoisours muttered, "I suppose it's satisfying." When asked if he'd like to retract his previous epithet, "idea-grubbing cocksuckers," the embattled reporter snarled, "ask again tomorrow." Grudgingly, he did finally acknowledge the quick responses of the other sites' webmasters when contacted. "They acted appropriately, and I appreciate their honesty."

The Chinese news source that faked a Chosun Ilbo article has not been reached, nor has it commented on its own part in grubbing ideas, leaving some to think it might actually have been a real coincidence. . . but let's not push it.

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