Wednesday 18 March 2009

Iowa Senator Revealed to be Korean Internet Troll

Iowa Sen. Charles Grassley revealed his true origin as a Korean internet troll when asked about the AIG executives responsible for their company's collapse. During a radio interview he said,
"I suggest, you know, obviously, maybe they ought to be removed, but I would suggest the first thing that would make me feel a little bit better toward them if they'd follow the Japanese example and come before the American people and take that deep bow and say, I'm sorry, and then either do one of two things: resign or go commit suicide.

"And in the case of the Japanese, they usually commit suicide before they make any apology."

Later in the same interview, he was asked about several other hot topics, and his responses were similar.

"Lee Hyori is a fat ho and she should kill herself."

"Tom Cruise is a stupid waste of space and he should definitely be, um, taken care of. Preferably slowly and painfully. I wish he was dead, because he's so handsome, and I can't even please my wife anymore."

"Elliot Smith lost his originality after Figure 8 and I'm glad..." for the sake of good taste, DokdoIsOurs will not complete the quote.

DokdoIsOurs contacted the senator, and asked if he thought his rhetoric was a bit extreme, and his response was true to form.

"You don't understand me or my culture. Why don't you go home and kill yourself, stupid hater? I've lived a hard life, and you should learn more about my unique situation. I'll call your workplace and have you fired, or throw bags of feces at your house, stupid racist."

Though Senator Grassley has revealed his true identity as a Korean drama-queen, whether he will start bringing sledgehammers to meetings of the American senate remains to be seen.

1 comment:

Brian said...

If my team sucked so badly at baseball I'd kill myself too HAHAHAHA GO HOME JAPAN!

Wait, oops, I thought this was Pop Seoul.