Friday 1 January 2010

Korea Times School of Journalism: Rule 31

The Korea Times School of Journalism:

You are already familiar with some of our rules, for example, "In the absence of an interview, it's OK to make up a quote" and "If I heard one person say it, or something like it one time, I'm allowed to pretend it's popular sentiment" and "If at any time during the interview, my subject says 'I think that's true', I can put that quote after any sentence I write, to make it sound like that's what the person said in my interview" and "Leaders of hate groups are to be quoted at every opportunity"... here, is rule 31 in our rigorous code.

If we want it to be true, we're allowed to report it as if it has already happened. For demonstrations of this principle at work:

Example one:
Korean Food to the World!

Example two:
Next 60 Years

choice cuts:

It is a small surprise then that the democracy fighter-turned-President Kim Dae-jung honed his self-taught English using The Korea Times, setting an early ― and landmark ― example of the use of English Newspaper In Education, or ENIE.
And you can too! For a small monthly payment...
Uncompromising Journalism

The death of former Managing Editor Choi Byeong-woo while covering the Taiwan Strait crisis in the 1950s, and the torture of another ex-managing editor, Hong Soon-il, by the state spy agency in the early 1970s in relation to a foreigner's contribution are but a few cases that demonstrate this paper's uncompromising practice of what journalism should be.
And in sixty more years, we'll STILL be patting ourselves on the back about that, beside Bat-Boy's opinion column and results proving the alien skeletons were Korean. You may not realize that former Managing Editor Choi Byeong-woo also pioneered The Korea Times' special journalistic technique of publishing pictures of movie starlets who weren't wearing their bras, including these classics of Marilyn Monroe from 1952.

Today's world is hard to survive in for old industries, harder for old media outlets that are bearing the brunt of rapid technological and social changes, and hardest for newspapers trying to maintain both journalistic and financial integrity.

The Korea Times will spare no efforts for following that tortuous path through ceaseless self-transformation but with an unchanging sense of mission to serve the widest scope of citizens possible, with the confidence that our readers will recognize and support such a struggle, as they have done in the past.

In Oriental philosophy, the 60th birthday carries a peculiar significance of returning to the very year one was born after passing a full sexagenarian cycle. This means the time has come for this newspaper to be born again as a more mature, respected but modest guardian and watchman of this society.

If we want it to be true, we can report it as if it already happened.

Example three:
Korea to Witness Emergence of Global Newspaper

choice cuts:

National Assembly Speaker Kim Hyong-o has expressed his optimism that The Korea Times, which marks its 60th anniversary this year, is poised to become a global newspaper in line with growing worldwide demand for reliable, in-depth information about Korea.

(Play a game of spot the irony:)
The parliamentary leader noted that this demographic shift will bring profound changes to society, making the country enter a new era of multiculturalism.

``If Korea cannot resist the change, it should better adjust itself to cope with the evolving circumstances,'' Kim said, adding that The Korea Times should become the voice of migrants and minorities here.

If we want it to be true, we are allowed to report it as if it had already happened:

Example four:
Setting The Record Straight

I hope they understand my meaning when I say that The Korea Times is certainly the most incredible paper I've read in a long, long time!


DSW said...

The Korea Times certainly provides all native English speakers and people with any level of brain function with something to laugh at. Their comedy stylings are to die for...

3gyupsal said...

Well I think I speak for the rest of the English speaking community when I say that The Korea Times is definiately the grey old lady of English Journalism in Korea. Let me just wish it health and happiness for the new year!!!!

Anonymous said...

Don't forget this one:

Dokdo Is Ours said...

I didn't anonymous. see example three.

And if I'm going to make fun of the times for their reporting, I'm going to make fun of you for not even reading the post...