HT to All K-Pop
The huge success of the Infinity Challenge Mini-Album has proven that the absence of actual talent is not an actual detriment to one's chance at K-pop success. Hastily slapped-together songwriting, low production quality, constricting recording/production time-frames and a lack of album unity also don't matter, as long as the performers are reported on the right TV shows, and have a strong enough online presence.
This also just in:
Bear Shits In Woods!
Oh my fuc&ing God, are you serious?
Sunday, 19 July 2009
Friday, 17 July 2009
Proposed Replacement Slogans for Korea: Sparkling!
HT to ROK Drop
Put Your Own Suggestions In The Comments:
- South Korea: Different from North Korea!
- South Korea: Land of Fruit-Vendors and Bat-shit Politicians
- South Korea: Can You Spot the Nork Spy?
- Korea: We Don't Read Our English T-Shirts Before We Buy Them...but You Can!
- South Korea: Schedule An Extra 7 Days for Quarantine!
- South Korea: Seriously, We DON'T all Look The Same. Come and See.
- South Korea: We'll Only Hate You If You Teach English
- The Korea Formerly Known As Sparkling!
- Korea: ________ (adjective)! We are very ______ (adjective)! Come ______(verb) in our ________ (place name)! Our ________ is spicy.
- Come to South Korea, so We Don't Have To Travel Abroad to Form Prejudices About People from Your Country!
- South Korea: More Polite Than China!
- Korea: HELLO! HELLO! HELLO! WHERE ARE YOU FROM? I'M SORRY I DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH!
- South Korea: Cleaner than Calcutta!
- Korea: Hub of Self-Aggrandizing Pronouncements
- South Korea: Cheaper than Japan, and Better at Women's Golf!
- Korea: Go Talk To The Foreigner, Young-mi!
- South Korea: No Longer a War-Torn Shithole!
- Do You Know Park Jisung?
- South Korea: Bigger Than Koreatown LA!
- Do You Know Korea?
- Korea Virus!
- Korea: Pushiest Christians in the World!
- Korea: Somebody Once Called Us The Polite Country To The East, And We've Been Holding Onto that For A While
- Korea: We Celebrate Every Special Occasion With Hot Girls In Short Skirts!
Put Your Own Suggestions In The Comments:
Friday, 3 July 2009
Lee Eun-eung to expand hate campaign to include unqualified Korean Nationals.
Lee Eun-eung, key member and mouthpiece of the Anti-English spectrum, has revealed a surprising change of tactics in his hate campaign against foreign English teachers.
"I have spent hours and weeks and years now, hating foreign English teachers. Unqualified foreign English teachers who fake degrees and do drugs and have consensual sex with Korean women who will not have sex with me. However, these days, I have realized something important, but to explain it properly, I have to give you some background.
"You see, it started last Sunday after I got together with some of my Anti-English Spectrum activists, following a white person in our neighborhood. We picked up his trail as he left church with a Korean woman, and also her Korean husband and children, and we followed him furtively to this Korean woman's apartment building, where he was obviously planning to have adulterous sex with her at knifepoint in front of her family, scarring the precious pure-blood Korean children for life. We followed him to the apartment building, and then threw rocks through the window of their apartment and shouted "Yankee Go Home!" and to prevent the degradation of that Korean woman, we shouted, "You're a whore to associate with Western men!" and other swear words we learned from watching American movies. God I love Tarantino. Don't you? Then, satisfied that we had prevented him from violating yet another pure Korean family, and degrading Korean women yet again, we decided to celebrate our bravery with a visit to the room salon."
"There, while celebrating our brave actions protecting Korea's pure han women by watching a titty show, and congratulating each other for helping Korean women to stay virtuous by buying each other lap-dances, you know, to help these pure Korean virgins pay for school, I felt an empty feeling.
"You see, after my mother disowned me and masturbating stopped being pleasurable for me years ago, once all the fetish videos I could find didn't help, I found that hating foreign English teachers was enough for me to find emotional catharsis, despite my frustration in, um, other areas of life. However, as I approach more and more Korean women who don't want to have sex with me, even after I hit them or their boyfriends to show my strength and prowess as a protector, or offer them money to demonstrate my financial stability and potential as a bread-winner, my frustration and misanthropy has grown too large to limit it to the tiny number of foreign English teachers in Korea. I realized that Korea is full of men who are unqualified to steal women to whom I have a natural birth-right, as the finest specimen the han-bloodline has to offer. It is now my intention to attempt to expel ALL men who are unqualified to steal my women, regardless of nationality, so that Korean women will be protected from any ineligible or unqualified possible mate, and the worthy will finally have their rightful choice of the virtuous Han females."
"Virtuous Han females?" Dokdo Is Ours asked.
"Yes. Who get tricked into being whores and have consensual sex with men who are not me. You see, many Korean women who will not have sex with me are instead having sex with foreign men...but many more again are having sex with KOREAN men, and so, I am being denied my rightful Han vagina."
"And you had this revelation..."
"At a titty bar. Yes. I have all my best ideas about how to respect and protect Korea's virtuous women at the titty bar."
"So," the intrepid journalist Dokdo Is Ours asked, "Who are some of the Korean citizens you would deem unworthy of Korean females?"
"Well, first of all, those presumptuous snobs who have more money than I do. Those shallow pricks have got to go. Ship'em off to America or something. Second, all the lazy slobs who have less money than me -- they have no ability to provide for Korea's virtuous women, so they have to go, too. To China, I guess. Deport them wherever. I don't care."
"Anybody else?"
"Those fancy-boys who are handsomer than I am have to stop putting on their stupid airs and leave the country. Also, all those disgusting jerks uglier than me are not worthy of staying in Korea. The pretentious phoneys who have more education than I do are disqualified from being with one of Korea's pure women, and the idiots with less education than me are also unworthy, of course."
"And don't you think Korea's women have the intelligence, and should have the freedom, to choose the partner they want?"
"What do you mean? Korea's virtuous women are hypnotized by blue eyes, good looks, intelligence, education, charm, good manners, money, class, respectful behavior, kindness, morals, or good upbringing, and like a voodoo spell, they lose the ability to choose a proper partner: ME!"
"So you've decided not to rest until every Korean man except yourself is expelled from Korea."
"That's right! So many men getting laid, and I'm not one of them! If my looks, money, education and manners, along with my expansive, open-mind and tolerant attitude are not enough to lead a woman to my protrusive embrace, then let them come to me because I'm the only man left in Korea!"
"And what do the other members of the Anti-English spectrum think about this?"
"As long as they can stay in Korea after all the other men have been expelled, they're all for it."
"How will you achieve this kind of a goal?"
"Well, we're going to start off by following around different men in our neighborhoods and discover their unsavory activities and evidence of bad character. Then we will expose them and warn them to leave Korea before we alert the authorities. We will continue doing this until every unworthy man in Korea has left the country, or until we get laid. So, we'll probably never stop. Hey. Who are you? What kind of a name is Dokdo Is Ours? Are you trying to steal one of MY women? I have a buddy who can trail you. Let me call him."
It seemed a prudent time to end the interview.
Dokdo Is Ours, Reporting.
"I have spent hours and weeks and years now, hating foreign English teachers. Unqualified foreign English teachers who fake degrees and do drugs and have consensual sex with Korean women who will not have sex with me. However, these days, I have realized something important, but to explain it properly, I have to give you some background."You see, it started last Sunday after I got together with some of my Anti-English Spectrum activists, following a white person in our neighborhood. We picked up his trail as he left church with a Korean woman, and also her Korean husband and children, and we followed him furtively to this Korean woman's apartment building, where he was obviously planning to have adulterous sex with her at knifepoint in front of her family, scarring the precious pure-blood Korean children for life. We followed him to the apartment building, and then threw rocks through the window of their apartment and shouted "Yankee Go Home!" and to prevent the degradation of that Korean woman, we shouted, "You're a whore to associate with Western men!" and other swear words we learned from watching American movies. God I love Tarantino. Don't you? Then, satisfied that we had prevented him from violating yet another pure Korean family, and degrading Korean women yet again, we decided to celebrate our bravery with a visit to the room salon."
"There, while celebrating our brave actions protecting Korea's pure han women by watching a titty show, and congratulating each other for helping Korean women to stay virtuous by buying each other lap-dances, you know, to help these pure Korean virgins pay for school, I felt an empty feeling.
"You see, after my mother disowned me and masturbating stopped being pleasurable for me years ago, once all the fetish videos I could find didn't help, I found that hating foreign English teachers was enough for me to find emotional catharsis, despite my frustration in, um, other areas of life. However, as I approach more and more Korean women who don't want to have sex with me, even after I hit them or their boyfriends to show my strength and prowess as a protector, or offer them money to demonstrate my financial stability and potential as a bread-winner, my frustration and misanthropy has grown too large to limit it to the tiny number of foreign English teachers in Korea. I realized that Korea is full of men who are unqualified to steal women to whom I have a natural birth-right, as the finest specimen the han-bloodline has to offer. It is now my intention to attempt to expel ALL men who are unqualified to steal my women, regardless of nationality, so that Korean women will be protected from any ineligible or unqualified possible mate, and the worthy will finally have their rightful choice of the virtuous Han females.""Virtuous Han females?" Dokdo Is Ours asked.
"Yes. Who get tricked into being whores and have consensual sex with men who are not me. You see, many Korean women who will not have sex with me are instead having sex with foreign men...but many more again are having sex with KOREAN men, and so, I am being denied my rightful Han vagina.""And you had this revelation..."
"At a titty bar. Yes. I have all my best ideas about how to respect and protect Korea's virtuous women at the titty bar."
"So," the intrepid journalist Dokdo Is Ours asked, "Who are some of the Korean citizens you would deem unworthy of Korean females?"
"Well, first of all, those presumptuous snobs who have more money than I do. Those shallow pricks have got to go. Ship'em off to America or something. Second, all the lazy slobs who have less money than me -- they have no ability to provide for Korea's virtuous women, so they have to go, too. To China, I guess. Deport them wherever. I don't care."
"Anybody else?"
"Those fancy-boys who are handsomer than I am have to stop putting on their stupid airs and leave the country. Also, all those disgusting jerks uglier than me are not worthy of staying in Korea. The pretentious phoneys who have more education than I do are disqualified from being with one of Korea's pure women, and the idiots with less education than me are also unworthy, of course."
"And don't you think Korea's women have the intelligence, and should have the freedom, to choose the partner they want?"
"What do you mean? Korea's virtuous women are hypnotized by blue eyes, good looks, intelligence, education, charm, good manners, money, class, respectful behavior, kindness, morals, or good upbringing, and like a voodoo spell, they lose the ability to choose a proper partner: ME!""So you've decided not to rest until every Korean man except yourself is expelled from Korea."
"That's right! So many men getting laid, and I'm not one of them! If my looks, money, education and manners, along with my expansive, open-mind and tolerant attitude are not enough to lead a woman to my protrusive embrace, then let them come to me because I'm the only man left in Korea!"
"And what do the other members of the Anti-English spectrum think about this?"
"As long as they can stay in Korea after all the other men have been expelled, they're all for it."
"How will you achieve this kind of a goal?"
"Well, we're going to start off by following around different men in our neighborhoods and discover their unsavory activities and evidence of bad character. Then we will expose them and warn them to leave Korea before we alert the authorities. We will continue doing this until every unworthy man in Korea has left the country, or until we get laid. So, we'll probably never stop. Hey. Who are you? What kind of a name is Dokdo Is Ours? Are you trying to steal one of MY women? I have a buddy who can trail you. Let me call him."It seemed a prudent time to end the interview.
Dokdo Is Ours, Reporting.
Friday, 26 June 2009
To Gain Concessions, Kim Jong-Il Claims Responsiblity for Wondergirls English Version
Kim Jong-il has claimed responsibility for the American English version of the Wondergirls' hit song 'Nobody', announcing his intention to bring all America to its knees through hypersweet K-pop confections, in case his nuclear missiles fail.
American President Barack Obama had nothing to say about the despot's new tactic, though he was noticed to be tapping his feet while the musical sample played. "That's cute."
Hilary Clinton, meanwhile, reiterated that America would not negotiate with terrorists, be the weapon nuclear arms or toe-tapping dance crazes.
Park Jin-young, the purported producer of the Wondergirls, has denied any links to North Korea, and states that Kim Jong-il's attempt to use The Wondergirls' ultra-catchy pop sensibility for international terrorsim is reprehensible, and calls the claims categorically false.
"This American English version of 'Nobody' is meant to whet the appetites of American fans: the Wondergirls will be opening for the virginal Jonas Brothers and the Wondergirls have declared open intention to seduce them.
American fans, that is."
Park Jin-young has also announced that, now that the American English version of "Nobody" is on its way, the Wondergirls and the JYP songwriting team is working on a version of the song in British English. In the UK, the Wondergirls will be headlined as "Woundergirls"
"We realize that British and American English English are different, and can cause misunderstandings. That's why my former hagwon owner never hired Canadians or British, or black people. We're working hard to translate song lyrics into British English: for example, instead of "So Hot," we're going to name the song "So Ace" in England, and try to incorporate British phrases like "wanker" "bob's your uncle" and "keep your pecker up," which means fighting! I mean, cheer up." I found a useful website and I'm using it to totally rewrite our lyrics!
The anticipated cover of the British Wondergirls album.
American President Barack Obama had nothing to say about the despot's new tactic, though he was noticed to be tapping his feet while the musical sample played. "That's cute."
Hilary Clinton, meanwhile, reiterated that America would not negotiate with terrorists, be the weapon nuclear arms or toe-tapping dance crazes.
Park Jin-young, the purported producer of the Wondergirls, has denied any links to North Korea, and states that Kim Jong-il's attempt to use The Wondergirls' ultra-catchy pop sensibility for international terrorsim is reprehensible, and calls the claims categorically false.
"This American English version of 'Nobody' is meant to whet the appetites of American fans: the Wondergirls will be opening for the virginal Jonas Brothers and the Wondergirls have declared open intention to seduce them.
American fans, that is."
Park Jin-young has also announced that, now that the American English version of "Nobody" is on its way, the Wondergirls and the JYP songwriting team is working on a version of the song in British English. In the UK, the Wondergirls will be headlined as "Woundergirls"
"We realize that British and American English English are different, and can cause misunderstandings. That's why my former hagwon owner never hired Canadians or British, or black people. We're working hard to translate song lyrics into British English: for example, instead of "So Hot," we're going to name the song "So Ace" in England, and try to incorporate British phrases like "wanker" "bob's your uncle" and "keep your pecker up," which means fighting! I mean, cheer up." I found a useful website and I'm using it to totally rewrite our lyrics!
The anticipated cover of the British Wondergirls album.
Wednesday, 24 June 2009
From the Chosun Ilbo's Esteemed Photo Section:
fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fapfap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
telephoto lens.
fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
high school girls. heh heh. wet.
fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fapfap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
fap fap fapfap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
High school girls.
Foreign girls.
fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fapUnderage? What's that?
fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fapfap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
Foreign girls.
fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
fap
fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fapthis is what they mean by exposee, right?
fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
This is the Chosun Ilbo, last, best bastion of Korean journalism reporting.
You stay classy!
Links:
one
two
three
Tuesday, 23 June 2009
Lee Myung-Bak Named World Leader of The Year: 1958
For his groundbreaking work on surpressing civil dissent and utilising the media to promote his ends, while judiciously limiting the freedoms of the ignorant masses for their own good, Lee Myung-bak has been awarded "World Leader of the Year, 1958"
"What Korea needs right now is an authoritarian hand to guide it out of the wreckage of the Korean War: after such a divisive event like the Korean War, South Korea clearly needs ideological unity in order to move forward. We applaud President Lee's clever initiatives to quell subversion and fractured ideology through prosecution of the media and outlawing protest."
President Lee's leadership style has been described as "headstrong," "unable to see other points of view," "clumsy" and "as bad as Adolf Hitler" by some of his critics, but he has been diligent in maintaining national unity by burying such subversives in so much litigation and paperwork that they are unable to continue criticizing him: this "death by lawyer" tactic is praised as a forward-thinking technique more advanced than the kind of detainment in political prisons used by other world leaders. "We thought about trying everyone for communism, like good old Joe McCarthy," President Lee said, "but this way we don't even need to bother with facts to be distorted: we just send investigators to their house to ask them questions that don't lead anywhere. Then come the lawyers."
While a civil servants' union and several newspapers are openly criticizing President Lee's adherence to an agenda that is losing popularity, his prosecution's possibly politically motivated investigation of the late ex-president Roh Moo-hyun, and his prosecution of news programs that caused him political difficulty. However, President Lee is unfazed. "Once we remove these dissidents, the friendly news agencies will help the public to quickly forget all that inconvenient stuff, and our nation will be unified. In exchange for some favors, we have The Wonder Girls planning four more comebacks this year to keep the public distracted."
Other reasons Lee was chosen were his commitment to bring his country into the modern era through trade, and large infrastructure projects, like a big effing canal, that will help intraKorean trade, as right now Koreans have no way to travel from Seoul to Busan. In order to facilitate his initiatives, President Lee is working to concentrate more power in the office of President. His rival, Park Geun-hye has found herself on the outside looking in: another of president Lee's strategies to enact his agenda more efficiently has been to ostracize even members of his own party who disagree with him: such a bold leadership style earned kudos from several other world leaders.
One young Venezuelan expressed his admiration for President Lee in a warm letter with a picture. "I am Hugo. I like you." His father, Hugo de Los Reyes, thought little Hugo Chavez would go far if he took President Lee's methods to heart.
"Just remember, little Hugo: gather power, silence your critics," were the wise words President Lee gave his advice to the small boy. As an object lesson, he let little Hugo hold the stamp while he approved the persecution of a political cartoonist.
So what are President Lee's plans for 1959, to try and repeat next year?
"Lots of plans...I've taken care of almost all my critics and opponents, and we're hoping to discredit those remaining this year; from there, I'm thinking of making Christianity the official state religion of Korea and possibly merging the media with the government's promotional sector. Then I'll have basically a blank slate to form Korea in the shape I want. For God."
Friday, 12 June 2009
Park Ji-Sung Greatest Soccer Player in Sport History: Online Poll
Park Jisung:
better than Pele?
In a startling upset, Korean Manchester United forward Park Ji-sung was voted the greatest soccer player in history, thanks to 48 333 001 write-in votes.
The forward, hailing from South Korea, population 48 333 000, has been playing on the English Premier League team Manchester United for several years now. He is known for running a lot.
FIFA Online, the international soccer organization's website, organized a simple online survey asking netizens who they believed was the greatest soccer player in the history of the sport: the ballot included names like Johan Cruyff, Diego Maradona, the immortal Pele, Zinedine Zidane, and defender Franz Beckenbauer, but at the bottom of the list was a box for write-in votes. An amazing deluge of write-in votes for Park Ji-sung started at 10pm last night, coinciding with a link to the survey appearing on Korean portal Naver.com's front page. Every vote for Park Ji-sung came from URLs inside the Republic of Korea except a single vote from the only active internet URL in North Korea: Kim Jong-il also likes Park Ji-sung.
When asked about outpacing legends like Pele in the survey, Park Ji-sung was taken aback, and said only, "My teammates will give me a pinkbelly if I brag about it."
However, Korean soccer fan Jang Myeongju was happy to comment.
"If it's on the internet, it must be true. Park Jisung is the greatest soccer player in history: I always knew it. Truly, Korea is climbing the rankings in world influence. First Rain was the world's most influential person, then BoA was number one on an MTV online poll, Choi Hong-man was voted the best K-1 fighter at K-1 International's homepage, and Park Chan-ho was voted the best pitcher of the modern era in Major League Baseball. Korea's the best!"
To avoid having his comment board flooded with 48 million "Go home yankee bastard f*cking USA" comments in English, Konglish, and Korean, Dokdo Is Ours can only report, 48 million netizens can't be wrong.
Hail Park Jisung, better than Pele; hail Park Chan-ho, better than Roger Clemens; hail Rain, better than Stephen Colbert.
Dahanminguk. Clapclap, clapclap, clap.
better than Pele?
In a startling upset, Korean Manchester United forward Park Ji-sung was voted the greatest soccer player in history, thanks to 48 333 001 write-in votes.
The forward, hailing from South Korea, population 48 333 000, has been playing on the English Premier League team Manchester United for several years now. He is known for running a lot.
FIFA Online, the international soccer organization's website, organized a simple online survey asking netizens who they believed was the greatest soccer player in the history of the sport: the ballot included names like Johan Cruyff, Diego Maradona, the immortal Pele, Zinedine Zidane, and defender Franz Beckenbauer, but at the bottom of the list was a box for write-in votes. An amazing deluge of write-in votes for Park Ji-sung started at 10pm last night, coinciding with a link to the survey appearing on Korean portal Naver.com's front page. Every vote for Park Ji-sung came from URLs inside the Republic of Korea except a single vote from the only active internet URL in North Korea: Kim Jong-il also likes Park Ji-sung.
When asked about outpacing legends like Pele in the survey, Park Ji-sung was taken aback, and said only, "My teammates will give me a pinkbelly if I brag about it."
However, Korean soccer fan Jang Myeongju was happy to comment.
"If it's on the internet, it must be true. Park Jisung is the greatest soccer player in history: I always knew it. Truly, Korea is climbing the rankings in world influence. First Rain was the world's most influential person, then BoA was number one on an MTV online poll, Choi Hong-man was voted the best K-1 fighter at K-1 International's homepage, and Park Chan-ho was voted the best pitcher of the modern era in Major League Baseball. Korea's the best!"
To avoid having his comment board flooded with 48 million "Go home yankee bastard f*cking USA" comments in English, Konglish, and Korean, Dokdo Is Ours can only report, 48 million netizens can't be wrong.
Hail Park Jisung, better than Pele; hail Park Chan-ho, better than Roger Clemens; hail Rain, better than Stephen Colbert.
Dahanminguk. Clapclap, clapclap, clap.
Tuesday, 2 June 2009
It is my Pride and Honor To Work for the Classiest Journalism Source in All Asia
HT to Korea Beat
by Mun Chang-ryeong
Truly, it is my honor to work for the photo corps of the illustrious Chosun Ilbo.
Not only are they the only objective, impartial news source in Asia, with thorough coverage and unbiased reports on everything from the glorious president Lee Myung-bak to the filthy communist Union Leaders, the photo section remains, as always, a true bastion of great documentarian work.
Please observe my photo journalistic essay on female beach volleyball players. I gracefully catch their plight as they try to live under the conditions God gave them, struggling, striving to reach their goals in that infinitely human way.
Observe the tight, tight, steely...um...determination, of these competitivebabes warriors.
Brushed with sand, in tight focus, truly, these women are an example we could all spend more time meditating upon. It is a credit to the Chosun Ilbo that they have chosen to expand their photo documentary efforts, to capture women participating in these all too human struggles for victory. See the grim determination in their faces.
Don't worry. Her face wasn't that great, anyway.
Oh my! Next time the Chosun will have to send two photographers...I seem to have forgotten to take a single picture of these players' faces.
Here's one. Too *bad* that other player's firm and shapely *block* is almost in the way.
Yes, Chosun Ilbo continues to feature the best male photography corps I've ever seen, and it is a true honor to be part of their photo corps, exploring the world of bikini babes in the unbiased, clinical way only a male photographer could.
Truly worth celebrating! But only if you're hot, and wearing a bikini, and I have my camera.
Stay classy, Chosun Ilbo
by Mun Chang-ryeong
Truly, it is my honor to work for the photo corps of the illustrious Chosun Ilbo.
Not only are they the only objective, impartial news source in Asia, with thorough coverage and unbiased reports on everything from the glorious president Lee Myung-bak to the filthy communist Union Leaders, the photo section remains, as always, a true bastion of great documentarian work.
Please observe my photo journalistic essay on female beach volleyball players. I gracefully catch their plight as they try to live under the conditions God gave them, struggling, striving to reach their goals in that infinitely human way.
Observe the tight, tight, steely...um...determination, of these competitive
Brushed with sand, in tight focus, truly, these women are an example we could all spend more time meditating upon. It is a credit to the Chosun Ilbo that they have chosen to expand their photo documentary efforts, to capture women participating in these all too human struggles for victory. See the grim determination in their faces.
Don't worry. Her face wasn't that great, anyway. 
Oh my! Next time the Chosun will have to send two photographers...I seem to have forgotten to take a single picture of these players' faces.
Here's one. Too *bad* that other player's firm and shapely *block* is almost in the way.
Yes, Chosun Ilbo continues to feature the best male photography corps I've ever seen, and it is a true honor to be part of their photo corps, exploring the world of bikini babes in the unbiased, clinical way only a male photographer could.
Truly worth celebrating! But only if you're hot, and wearing a bikini, and I have my camera.Stay classy, Chosun Ilbo
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
