Monday 12 April 2010

Korean Reputation for Heavy Drinking Replaced With Reputation For Being Lightweights

photos courtesy of the amazing blog, "Blackout Korea"

An OECD report debunked the myth that Koreans consume more alcohol per capita than other nations. Chosun Ilbo reports. According to the report, Koreans above age 15 drank an average of 8 liters of alcohol per person, below the OECD average of 9.5 liters per person.

Racists and expat bloggers were shocked at the news. "This changes the kinds of jokes I can make about Koreans," moaned blogger Uncle Kev. "How will I broadly characterize the people of the nation where I live now? I may have to actually hang out with some of them - only long enough to develop new stereotypes, mind - before I can go back to complaining about them on my blog."

However, others were more optimistic. "I don't have to change anything," smirked Mr. Wonderful; it was like when statistics revealed that on average, Korean penis size was well within international norms: I just shifted from making small penis jokes to pink shirts and premature ejaculation jokes. I'll be fine."
Female blogger Dragon Lady will go on record as the first blogger to shift from "heavy drinker" jokes to "lightweight/can't hold their drink" jokes: a mere ten minutes after the Chosun Ilbo article went online, she wrote, "I see da stupid man drink da Toad Juice. Him only twee shat da Toad Juice and falling on da flooh so much. Him like my husband, Mr. Londapull. Da asshole."

Indeed, whatever the explanation: high quantity or low tolerance, Korea will continue to be filled with assholes who don't seem to have any purpose except head for the streets to make things unpleasant for others.


DSW said...

It's funny but I doubt we'll stop laughing about it. Koreans are lightweights, and they do drink a lot nonetheless. I found the article in question quite amusing, as they seem to be suggesting that Koreans no longer have a drinking problem... Which will probably lead to increased drinking.

And Korean schlongs are pretty fucking hilariously small. Not that that's a bad thing... but it's true. Stupid bloggers like me are losers for mocking them, but hell, everyone loves a penis joke.

Flint said...

And Korea/dog was left out of the top 10 controversial food list.

Nathan said...

Good stuff XD

Anonymous said...

I'm sure we'll be able to keep on truckin' in the stereotype department. Us expat bloggers are a resourceful bunch. We'll prevail.

Anonymous said...

Why don't you look it up on the list of countries by alcohol consumption in Wikipedia. According to Wikipedia, the per capita consumption of alcohol in Korea is the 13th among 190 countries. An average Korean drinks more than an average Irish. Unlike the sissy Irish who mostly drink beer, Koreans prefer hard liquor. The per capita consumption of hard liquor or spirits is the heaviest in the world. Just look it up on Wikipedia.